What’s PHP in English? The giver of false hope. The bastards who gives us the false hope? L.O.L
I’m not sure, maybe someone who knew can leave comment and tell me? What the perfect English term for the giver of false hope?
Well, let me describe a little bit about PHP. It’s Indonesian term of someone who constantly gives you an attention and kind affection that makes you happy and feel special. Usually, Indonesian people use this term refer to romantic relationship, although sometimes PHP can develop into general terms. The employer who gives the employee the baseless news so the employee develop a baseless hope, for example? Like there’s elaborate news about salary rising, but eventually, nothing is actually rising except the sun every morning 😀
I’m gonna limit my opinion to romantic relationship here.
What confuses me that people always blame this PHP, while, to be honest, the one who harbors the feeling of hope is actually, I don’t think it’s wrong, but more like it’s personal problems. The fault is if we’re asking people to take care of our problems. Lately, it becomes more and more difficult to be nice or kind to other people, because it only causes misunderstanding and creates new problems. What was that?
“Don’t take a girl home, if you don’t want to be her boyfriend“, I think it’s really shockingly stupid. Sorry about the words. But, it only makes everything in this world becomes more complicated. What kind of kindness we should do, if we don’t want to create those misunderstandings? Why should we limit ourselves -in something good, morally speaking too!- in order to take care of other people’s feeling? I mean, usually, we stop talking and doing harsh and violent things to avoid people’s suffering. Now, we should limit ourselves to be kind to other people? Really?
Well, that was really absurd to me!
I mean, we gotta start to learn, if there is nothing happened, roughly said, if a guy or girl doesn’t ask you out on a date or honestly tell you that they want to build serious romantic relationship with you, then there’s nothing really happened! So, instead of blaming other people who are being nice of you, thus gives you false hope, you can restrict your expectation, it’s rather different from hope actually, with open up yourself to reality! That there is nothing actually happened just yet! Well, maybe sometime later, there’s nothing wrong with hope, as long as you hang on to the reality, but nothing happened until something’s actually happened!
Reality is the only thing you can hold on, fellas! It may distorted by our perception, but, at least, when it’s empirically proven, we can have a definite argument of our personal assumption. I mean, who care about feelings anymore, when you are already committed to marriage, just to be clear? It’s already an empiric proofs, at the very least! There’s even a written legalized agreement paper about it. Then, I can tell you that it’s no longer “false hope,” right?
So, don’t really hang on to the false baseless expectation. Rather, you should just work on your decision. If you like this girl or this guy intensively, you just come out to them. Tell them your feeling and, of course, prepared to be rejected, too. It might not be a good feeling, but it’s a good experience. If you don’t stand among the uncertainties, leave it! And if you must wait, of course you can, but please, no longer blame anyone for whatever you harbored in your own heart. It’s yours, it will never be his/hers, thus only you, yourself, can manage it. No one can be able to do anything of your own heart, honestly!
Please, let the world be nice and kind once again, without any suspicions and distorted perceptions. The world are already suffering enough. (I put a little bit drama here ROTFL)